Ok, now I wanna tell you a story, oh no, I mean a history. My family history. Since it is not a secret anymore maybe I want to reveal it. On my previous post I have written a story about my grandfather from my mother and this time I’m gonna tell you about my grandfather from my father.
My grandfather (alm. peace be upon him) was a welknown rich businessman. He owned private company and had so many large lands in Jakarta, Bogor n all over Java. But unfortunately, he had 9 or 10 wives as long as he lived (I don’t know much n I think I should write a Biografi of him since his life was related to bak*ie group –a famous rich family in Indonesia). Well, actually I’m not close to him since he had 20 children n more than 20 grandchildren (and now still increasing). In the rest time of his age, he lived in Ciawi, Bogor, with his final-destination-wife (one of step mothers of my father) in a huge home with a pool inside (still builded at the time but never finished till now). I called him “Eyang Bogor” means a grandfather who lived in Bogor and almost every year in Ied Mubarak, me n my family (my father, mother n brother) visit him there and we gather together with all family including my father’s step brothers n sisters. Really something. When visiting his house, I was in the age of 5-7 years old and in a child perspective, I saw him as a King who is really far from his people (I mean me n my family are only ordinary people because I thought that my family is lil bit different with other family). I had never close to him as same as I close to my grandfather from my mother (a men from a humble and happy family). I always thought that he was a Highness n he loved only great grandchild like my step-cousin who is a half-German and others. Maybe this was just a thought because I really seldom meet him.
As I grew up, I became more understand of my family history and why he had 9/10 wives (the number still being doubted rite now). Shortly, because of his wealth, he got married and divorced as he wanted. My grandmother is the 4th wife and she never knew that he already had a wife before she married him. Well, it was terrible, right? Hmm… another experience might be happen to other wives. I don’t know the whole story but maybe I should do investigation n write the history n family tree if this is really important? The only one who knew the whole story is his driver (an old witness men). After a long long journey and history, like a sinetron (Indonesian drama), after the jealousy, fight, wealth n heritage competition, the family is now united and we became a huge famz. Well, now I’m gonna share the impact of his “bad habit”.
Like a sinetron, I saw his life was really something. Married, divorce and polygamy as he wanted even though he had a great wealth and position but this would cause broken home children and Yes, it happened. Problems happen to his children and I think it is because of broken-home-family effect even though they don’t realize it. Yes, the impact is so deep, into the psychology of the children. That’s why maybe the marriage of his children almost same with him. Hmm.. so sad to face this reality. Father is the leader in a family. He should lead the whole family and educate the children since he is the role-men of his family. Education started from home and it is depend on the parents. Men will be a husband and also a father and women will be a wife and also a mother.
In Islam, men is a single and a women is a nation but without men or father, it is really hard to a women/wife to raise the children. Even though I had seen so many wifehouses who are really struggle to raise their kids without men on their side, but this will give effect to the children, even just a little. Therefore, for me, marriage is not only about love. It is about your future and your history. You will make it with your own hand. And to me, my future is my children. After died, one of the things that can help you in the akhirah is dua of your children. How if your children didn’t educated well and couldn't send you a dua? How if ? it would be so sad.. I saw it by my own-eyes until I am 21 going to 22 this time. That’s why I am as the one of his grandchildren feel that I have this responsibility. I wish God will forgive him if he hurt many women as long as he lived. I send you a Dua, Eyang…
